Friday, December 18, 2009

let it snow.


if you look really close, you can see little snow flakes in my hair.

the snow is actually all melting off of the ground, and it's sad.

yes, it is hard having such pretty roommates. i need to make friends with uglier people to help out my self-esteem.

we wanted to make a christmas card, and we took this picture outside our favorite family restaurant. j dawgs. it's a hot dog joint. i know what you're thinking... hot dogs are only acceptable at baseball games, camp outs, and when you're really hungry at a ward activity - but j dawgs defies all laws of hot dogs. it is honestly that good. our outfits actually coordinated very well, but it was so cold that the roommates left their jackets on and we decided this would do. we didn't make a christmas card, but at least we have a picture of the 3 of us.

i'm tired. tired tired. i didn't go to sleep last night. i have 2 finals today. and then i'm taking a deep breath. i swear, each semester is more and more stressful and i don't get it. i keep thinking my life will calm down, but then it doesn't

if i had a nickel for every time someone said "jana, things like that don't happen to people in real life" i would have a million dollars. really. i'm going to write a book about how ridiculous my life is. i'm pretty sure right now i'm living out the notebook. probably a little too much info for the blog, but whatever... nicholas sparks makes it look way too easy. 

i wish i was flying to california today. december 22nd please come soon.

i have a christmas dinner party every year with my girlfriends from high school. one of my favorite parts is handmaking and sending out the invitations. i didn't do it this year. and i'm sad. maybe i'll make some and mail them out tomorrow - they'll probably get to everyone the day after the party. hmmm. oh well. there's always next year.

when is it too early in the morning to drink diet coke? i didn't go to sleep, so 8am doesn't really apply to me, right?

my mom sends me funny things in e-mails. and then i'm bad at e-mailing back. but mom, i think you're funny. [blog posts are better than e-mails because everyone can read them, so this covers a few of my non-responses].

sometimes i straighten my hair specifically so i don't have to wash it for a few days but i know it will still look nice. i did that on wednesday. hello third day hair. it's finals week, lay off me.

i have been crying every day lately. every day. there is something wrong with me. i went a whole year without crying once, and this last month i have been a basket case. i remember that no-crying year though, and i thought something was wrong with me then too. no really, i remember sitting in my car one day after a track meet in high school thinking 'i want to cry. cry jana. i don't want to forget how.' i'm so weird. anyway, i wonder which is worse.

i've lost over 10 lbs in the last couple months. which is weird. one, because i don't know how. and two, i don't look any skinnier so i'm pretty sure i've just lost all muscle. but there's still something very fulfilling about seeing a number on the scale that's under 130.

i have to go do a painting and study and take 2 finals in the next couple hours. awesome.

dear 2010,
please come quick and bring me happy things. just saying.


5 left some love.:

Ali December 18, 2009 at 12:17 PM  

Jana, ok, I have to reveal are just too cute for words. First off, so you don't think I'm some creep- I am the littlest sister of Viki (Thatcher) Pulsipher, who you may not know- but ask your sister-in-law Shana (they used to be roomies in Ut)...and I have always thought her family is the coolest -anyone Viki thinks is cool is cool in my book :)I remember having dinner with their family once and I met Melissa...this was all before they were married. I stalk Melissa's family too :) Anyway, so that's how I've stumbled upon your blog and I have just loved reading and following all of your talent. I feel like I know you and have come so close to commenting a few times and then I realize you have no idea who I am :)So I thought I better reveal. Anyway, my blog is private but if you want to read it, send me an email and I'll send an invite your way. can be blog friends.

Emily December 18, 2009 at 12:33 PM  

You don't know me, and I don't know you (personally). I've only commented twice on your blog. But I have to say that I love you... yeah that's probably kinda weird, but I do. You're an amazing girl and I can relate SO much to a lot of the things you post. Hang in there girlie. Things will get better. You are beautiful. Absolutely gorgeous... inside as well as outside. Keep relying on the Lord, and you'll figure out what you're supposed to be doing. You're extremely talented, and you are super smart. Good luck finishing out this week! Have fun when you fly home. Keep posting on your blog. It makes me happy when I see you have a new post up... especially when they are personal! Make sure you have a merry Christmas as well. It's a wonderful time of year, so just enjoy it as much as you can!

Chelsi December 18, 2009 at 5:19 PM  

jana. you're a doll. i enjoy your blog. guess what? there may be something waiting for you at your parent's house when you get there. I sent it out today. i didn't forget about you winning my giveaway. i said i had till the end of the year and i stretched that one out didn't i. hope the rest of your week goes wonderful for you! take care and hopefully i'll get to see you while i'm down there for christmas :)

Erin December 18, 2009 at 10:43 PM  

Your whole not crying for a year thing reminds me of Cameron Diaz in "The Holiday." Have you seen it? Great movie. Speaking of great movies I LOVE "The Notebook" and now am very curious about the love triangle you are facing. Whatever the situation, it will all work out. Promise. Get through the next few days and then have a wonderful holiday with your family. I'm quite sure 2010 will bring very good things your way. :)

And yes. Your nephews are ADORABLE.

Anonymous December 21, 2009 at 3:09 PM  

Are you sure those aren't little flakes of dandruff? ... Everyone else was so nice, and I'm sure made you smile. I just thought I would make you smile as only a mother can.