dear person that dropped their candy wrapper in the stairwell,

seriously?

first of all, i consider it quite awesome that my place of employment offers an assortment of hard candies to guests of the office. im so glad that you decided to display your appreciation in the form of littering.

as i was taking the mail down today, i saw your discarded Jolly Rancher wrapper and thought to myself, "i suppose that did originate in my office; i should probably do the right thing and dispose of it properly." i quickly regretted these feelings of environmentalism (or whatever you would like to call it) as i picked up this moist wrapper which was covered in, you guessed it, your saliva. now, i am all for the convenience of opening wrapped candies with my mouth, but then again, i also throw away my own wrappers. so next time you decide to leave your trash for me to pick up, make sure you open it with your hands.

with sincere disgust,
jana

p.s. on my way back up the stairs i found another wrapper you, or one of your wrapper-dropping friends, so inconsiderately left for me. i seriously hesitated picking it up, but thought what the heck - my fingers are already infested with your germs. thank goodness for hand sanitizer.