dear children of mine [that i don't have yet],

[photo via jcrew]

first of all, i certainly hope you'll like cute clothes. chances are you'll be the most stylish kids on the street, and it would make my life a lot easier if you don't tear off your headbands or ties at the first opportunity you find. don't worry, i know how to sew - so your halloween costumes will always be fantastic. and i promise i won't mind when you start telling me your costume ideas in june - i will probably already be thinking about it.

when i was your age, the day after my birthday i would already be planning my party for the next year. so grandma made me follow a "you can't talk about your birthday until one month before" rule. i'll give you 2 months. i like parties.

i'll let you help in the kitchen, even if it means the job will take twice as long. you can sit on the counter, dump the ingredients into the bowl, and help me mix. you can even lick the beaters (someone needs to do it).

there will be warm chocolate chip cookies and milk waiting for you when you get home from school. except when your dad tells me i'm feeding you too much sugar, then we'll have apples and celery with peanut butter. i'll be so excited to hear about the things you are learning, and i will remember to tell you the funny things your little brother or sister did while you were away. you are going to be my little friends. i'll help you with your homework and read your school books so i can help you understand things that you are having trouble with. maybe we'll even have home school so i can be the one to teach you and making sure you are learning up to your full capability. we'll see :).

i can't wait to read you books - i hope you love books as much as i do. and on special nights, i will let you all snuggle in mom and dad's bed for storytime before it's time to sleep. sometimes, i'll even ask for your help in making our own stories about who knows what. see, i'll need your help.

every morning, we'll read the scriptures and pray as a family. at night, dad and i will tuck each of you in and help you pray. i can't wait to hear your sweet little prayers. before i go to bed, i'll already miss your voices and laughter and i'll have to quietly sneak into your rooms and check on you while you sleep, while i wonder what you're dreaming.

please don't be stinkers so your dad and i will like taking you on family trips. we'll have maps on the walls of our home with little pins denoting places that we've visited and places we want to go.

i'll let you learn whatever instruments you want - even if it's not my favorite. like the trombone. and i'll smile when i hear you trying your darndest, even if it sounds like an elephant is dying. i'll learn how to play the piano better before you get here so we can have one in our home. and i'll play church songs while you sing. just thinking about it makes me happy.

i don't like singing too much in front of people, but i will sing with you. and we will dance and play while we clean up the dishes or do chores to make it just a little more fun.

don't be too fed up with me when i ask you to hold still for picture 100. i promise you'll appreciate it later. trust me, you will love pictures. i'll get you cameras of your own so you can take pictures of things that are important to you. and when you get a little bigger, i'll take you for dates to the park or the beach and teach you how to use mom's fancy camera.

i can't wait to teach you things. i can't wait to teach you big words, and about history and the places we go to visit. but more importantly, i can't wait to teach you about the savior and to watch your testimony grow as you do.

some days may not be as good as others. mom may have a hard time. like if you decide to dump the bag of flour on the ground, or absolutely refuse to take a bath. but i promise that we will figure it all out and i will love you no matter what. i think about how much i love you already, without even meeting you, and can't imagine what it will be like to have you here. sometimes i will probably feel like my heart might just burst with all the love i have for you. which i'll try to remember when we're shopping at the grocery store and you keep wandering off, just like i did.

try not to get too sassy when we play card games as a family, i know where you get it from.

and don't be mad when i make you add sleeves to your prom dress.

i can't wait for you to be here so i can meet you and kiss your little cheeks. i take that back, they will be big cheeks. and i'm ok with that

i love you to the moon and back.


xoxo.
mom